Reflections of my Doctoral Journey

 

Reflection on my Doctoral Journey

           After three years of rigorous schoolwork, I started conducting my research and finished writing my doctoral dissertation. I was physically and mentally exhausted when I started the final leg of my doctoral journey. I held a full-time job as a Senior Pastor, which required many responsibilities on my part, from pastoral visitations to sermon preparation and many other things. However, despite this unimaginable weariness, I felt empowered and motivated because now I could see the fruits of my labor and dedication. Finally, the end was near, and I saw the completion of something I had worked so hard to accomplish.

           It took me ten months to complete my dissertation. The Institutional Review Board (IRB) rejected the first dissertation proposal that I submitted. After that setback, I was given the option of submitting a new proposal for approval. This new option would require presenting a new topic, a new research design, and rewriting the first three chapters of the dissertation. I was given 12 weeks to do all that. My other option was to quit and receive an ABD (All But Dissertation). This setback was devastating to me. I found myself asking God for guidance and direction. At the same time, negative thoughts and the un-motivation to continue were present every day. Finally, after talking to several individuals and listening to their advice, I decided to move on and submit a new proposal.

           There were many struggles along the path of this journey. In September of 2018, Hurricane Florence devastated Eastern North Carolina, where I live. As a result, many families within our church family required assistance to get their lives back in order. It was a busy time. Due to this catastrophic event, I had to drop out of school. I needed to be able to concentrate on the aftermath of this atmospheric phenomenon. At the same time, I was moving into a new job, becoming the Senior Pastor of the church I presently lead.

 I got back to school the following term in January of 2019. However, things were not improving on the personal side of my life. In February of 2019, my mother suffered a stroke. I flew to Puerto Rico and stayed there for about one month, helping my sister take care of my mom. My mother eventually went to be with her Savior later that year. Dealing with her death made me temporarily lose my motivation. Nevertheless, with the help of my family and godly friends, I was able to get back on track.

My journey seeking a better life started over three decades ago when I left my hometown of Mayaguez, Puerto Rico, and came to the United States. I grew up with no luxuries, just a godly mother who taught me to love God and serve Him above everything else. Remembering my humble beginnings is essential to me. My mother's upbringing, love, dedication, and sacrifice made me the person I am today.

My mother was a single mother raising four children. She never graduated from college. As a matter of fact, she completed high school going to night school. However, she understood the value of education. To my mother, our only responsibility was to go to school, have good grades, and eventually attend college and obtain a college degree. Getting this doctorate was my most significant tribute to my mother's sacrifices for her children's education. I know from heaven that she cheered me up and motivated me to complete my dissertation. I love you, and I missed you, Mom. Thank you for everything you did for me.

Completing a doctoral degree is not easy, even for the most talented individuals. At the beginning of my doctoral program, I was highly excited. However, I felt intensely intimated and inferior to my classmates during my first course. They all seemed more thoughtful and better educated than me. Moreover, with English as my second language, academic writing did not come easy. However, I found support from my friends and my boss, Dr. Joe Capper. He took me on under his wing, provided me with counsel and prayer, and helped me with my writing. I still remember my first course and how intimidating it was. I remember submitting my first paper to Dr. Capper for editing. It was ten pages long. When I got it back a few days later, it was fifteen pages because of all the corrections and comments he made. I realized that it would be a long and challenging journey.

My insecurities and self-doubts were the driving forces that made me work harder. I studied twice as hard and wrote twice as long as everyone else. I worked harder and longer to compensate for my shortcomings. I self-imposed deadlines on all my papers because I needed to submit my draft to Dr. Capper for editing. This task put tremendous pressure on me with long hours of research, writing, and rewriting.

My will and determination helped me to overcome my fear of failing. Writing my dissertation has been the most demanding, exhausting, yet enriching endeavor in my life. It was a long and arduous journey not just for me but also for my wife, who had supported me throughout the process. From my experience, it is easy to get lost along the way, procrastinate, and give in to distractions. But with perseverance and hard work, the finish line is attainable.

Today is graduation day. I am walking on the stage, being hooded, and conferred my doctoral degree. This moment is a life-fulfilling moment for me—an accomplishment of a lifetime for which I am proud and grateful. This doctoral journey was a transformative process for me. It was a self-discovery experience of how much I could persevere to accomplish something I consider worthwhile.

I am thankful to my Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave me the strength, endurance, and health to complete this journey. To my lovely wife, Nora, who cheered me and supported me through many ups and downs in the last four years. To my children, Dee, and Jonathan, for their support. To my church family, Living Hope Community Church, for their constant prayers and encouragement. Lastly, to my friend and brother in Christ, Dr. Joe Capper. You never gave up on me. And even after I left the job at the Association, you were there for me. Your constant words of encouragement, prayers, and support were crucial for me to complete this journey. I do not have words to express my gratitude to you. God bless you.

My graduation was a life-fulfilling moment: an accomplishment of a lifetime for which I am proud and grateful. The experience made me realize that I am more than I ever thought. It changed me. I came out stronger and better. Because I overcame my fears and shortcomings, I became more hopeful about the future.